Use Dialogue Tags Sparingly

Narrative tells the story. The words (dialogue) your characters use drive the story forward. Dialogue is the poetry of your prose. 

Keeping the identities of the characters clear can be distracting if tags are used too frequently.  Tags are the “he said,” “she said” used to identify who is talking. Tags don’t have to be used in each quoted sentence. In fact, the less you use tags the better. Don’t be hesitant to use said when clarity is needed.

Dialogue can become stilted. Make it sound natural. A good test in making sure the words sound natural is to read the passages out loud.

Characters will identify themselves with their voice. That’s what we call the way a character speaks.  Each person in the story needs to have his and her own distinct voice that can be recognized in the character's manner of speaking.  Character identification can come from distinct patterns such as using too many contractions, incorrect grammar, accent and personal buzz phrases.

Here is an example of avoiding tags in an excerpt from my short story “Two Cents Worth.” It’s part of my soon- to- be published second book of short stories.

In this example, Mark is the manager of a used clothing/furniture store. He is talking with a distraught woman who pushes her way into the store before opening time. She is desperate to find a valuable pair of pants that someone donated by mistake.

    “Let me in, please. It was a mistake. I need them pants back.” She hit the glass with her hands when she spoke.      

     “It was my housekeeper. She put them pants in a pile. She said your truck took everything yesterday. I got to have them back."

         

     Mark stood near the doors and flinched each time she hit the glass.

     “We don’t open for another twenty-five minutes. You can be the first one in, but you have to wait."

   

     “Please, please let me in now. I need to find them.  The housekeeper made a mistake.”

This example doesn’t use a tag at all.  The woman’s poor grammar makes her identity obvious when she and Mark are speaking back and forth.

Action identifies a character. Mark comes to the glass doors. It’s obvious he is the character who speaks next. This shows the narrative working with dialogue.

Speech patterns and buzz words can also identify characters. Billy is a character in another short story from my new book. In “Deliberate Impulse” Billy shows his distinctive speech pattern while he’s talking to Susan.

     “Oh, yeah.  I see what you’re saying, Susan.  Sure, sure, sure.”

Billy reacts to a question from a medical examiner at a morgue.

     “We’ve concluded something about the size of the killer. Care to give me your opinion, Billy?”

     “Sure, sure, sure. He’s much shorter than the victim.  Those lower stab wounds in her waist and hips indicate the killer couldn't reach high enough to stab her in her neck at first." 

Billy’s quirky speech habits make it easy to know he is talking without using any tags.

Nobody knows your characters as well as you do. As you write your stories, the characters will talk to you. That allows you to help them change and develop as the story continues.

Thanks for reading this blog. In the next several weeks I’ll post samples of the new book as the stories develop.  You can view my web site at www.joevlatino.com.